RIP Liz

"When people say, 'She's got everything', I've got one answer - I haven't had tomorrow."

Elizabeth Taylor 1932 - 2011

An Open Letter to Mike Huckabee - Bastard of the Day

"Most single moms are very poor, uneducated, can't get a job, and if it weren't for government assistance, their kids would be starving to death and never have healthcare," Mike Huckabee during a radio interview. 

Here is the damage controlling clarification:  "My comments were about the statistical reality that most single moms are very poor, under-educated, can't get a job, and if it weren't for government assistance, their kids would be starving to death," he wrote. "That's the story that we're not seeing, and it's unfortunate that society often glorifies and glamorizes the idea of having children out of wedlock."  (For the record, he was speaking directly about the actress, Natalie Portman).

Now here's the truth.

78% of all single parent women are employed (Bureau of Labor Statistics, 2002-2003). 

45% of all single parent women hold down more than one job. (Bureau of Labor Statistics, 2002-2003).

Single parent women experience the highest rate of unemployment, and receive the lowest rate of pay regardless of their education. (Economic Roundtable, 2004).

While the hourly wage for women without children is 90% of a man’s, the comparable figure for women with children is 70%. (Bureau of Labor Statistics, 2002-2003).

And the Winner is.....Fewer than 17% of all single moms receive government assistance even in the minor form of food stamps. (Economic Roundtable, 2002).


Mr. Huckabee,

When I was living with my abusive, employed Army Soldier husband, we earned exactly HALF of what I make today as a single mother.  With my husband, we received tax payer funded healthcare in the form of Tricare and many, many tax free military benefits, again, a gift from the taxpayers.   

I want you to look me in the eye and repeat your former statements.  I want you to tell me that as a single mother my four, Yes, FOUR college degrees don't exist.

I want you tell me I do not make double what my soldier ex makes. 

I want you to tell me that I do not have an excellent, secure career and that I do not receive unsolicited job offers at least weekly.

I want you to tell me my children do not have healthcare.

Repeat your urban legends to the face of this well educated (going for degree #5 as we speak), well employed Single Mother of five children.  Tell me and my children that we should have stayed with my abusive husband because a broken hip and pelvis is preferable to the calm and peaceful life I have created for us.  Tell me I need your government aid.  Go right ahead and tell this Mother your deceitful, incidiary untruths.  Coward, tell her if you dare.

Today I'm Feeling ___________.

I saw a picture today of two women on horseback.  Not too original, but the horses where chest deep forging a river.  The women riders wore safety helmets (Honestly, I come from a state where motorcycle helmets are optional so I am aware of the repercussions, but how far of a journey is it from horse helmet to short bus?)  and were relaxed and smiling.  The horses were more concerned with keeping their nostrils above the water.   The lead horse, a gorgeous, grey Appaloosa harbored a look of deep resignation in his eyes while ferrying his oblivious, smiling passenger.  Today, I am the horse. 

I'm usually so optimistic.  Hey, 16 years of violent, physical abuse, I'm either going to be one helluva an optimist or beat so senseless as to not know or care!  I'm having a hard time bouncing back this AM.  I started a newish job on Monday.  Plus side - more money.  Minus side - more responsibility, more restraints, less time.  My truck broke down on Monday.  And on Tuesday.  And on Wednesday.  I need a new place to live having outgrown our smallish home and my lease is up.  I definitely need new wheels.  I can't shake this Eeyorish doom and gloom today!!!  Guess I need to make a list of all the things going right to remind myself.  Number 1.  I am not in an abusive relationship any longer.   Honestly, this Little Miss Doom & Gloom act needs to GO!  As I wrote the sentence above, all the "buts" flew to the foreground, but you owe this and this and this, and you need to do this and this and this....

ACK!  Girlfriends, anyone else having a blah, punky kind of week???

PB&J

In the area where one of the last offenses occurred, there are more verdicts than simply "guilty" or "not guilty."  There is also "probation before judgement," or PBJ.  A defendant can resolve his trial without receiving a conviction.  PBJ is usually reserved for first time offenders.  The criminial admits he's guilty or kinda guilty and is placed on probation without supervision.  Upon successfull completion of probation, the criminal will not have a conviction on record.  I'm not entirely certain how the military views a PBJ.  We shall see....

But Girlfriends, chalk this up as a win for the Good Guys.  Karma, you are beautiful.

Update:  A PBJ is about as useful as a sandwich.  He has since "shielded" all of his DV charges and passes a background check with flying colors.  He has never and probably will never answer for any of the damage he has done.  Teflon Douchebag is he.